Thanks to bpdthings.tumblr.com for these two images.
There is many a tragedy that is involved with having BPD. For starters, you push away the kind of relationships that you crave. (Read more in The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder.) Another one is that when you are already struggling with your own emotions, it is very hard to feel empathy for another person that is going through their own crisis.
For some reason, listening to my friends complain about their lives triggers my "don't give a shit" feeling. I don't know why because these are people that I care about deeply. I have to work hard to ignore the, "They don't know what bad really is," and dig deeper in my soul to grasp a decent response. As with many things that are BPD, it's just not fucking fair.
I don't want to be some cold-hearted bitch that can't seem to trigger the correct response for a hurting friend. I want to be able to empathize, without feeling the need to compare or start up my own drama. One of these days, I will be the person that I so desperately want to be.
Rachel, BPD, Mama of Three, and also a Wifey
No comments:
Post a Comment