I used to play basketball. I wasn't the best. In fact, I had terrible control of the ball. I couldn't dribble like some of the other girls on the team; behind their backs, through their legs, tossing it effortlessly to a teammate in some trick throw. That just didn't come naturally to me. But I wanted to be good. I wanted to earn my spot on that team. I wanted to be someone that they put out on the court in the first line-up. Since I never could seem to master control over the ball when dribbling, I took to becoming amazing at making baskets. And ya know what? I did master it. I was one of the first girls at my age that could make a three-point shot expertly at any place on around the court. Since we were approximately seven and eight years old, no one was taught to guard someone outside of that three-point rim, expecting them to be unable to make that shot. So, for a few years, they would have a play set up specifically for me to be completely open behind that line so I could make baskets. Eventually, all of the teams on our level caught up to our game and so that play was no longer an option but the point of the matter is that I worked hard to be good at something for my team.
Now my son is playing on a T-ball team. It may not be "all about winning" but it also isn't "just a game." It is much more than that. We are supposedly teaching these kids how to work hard together as a team, right? Well, explain to me how I can tell my child to be supportive of their teammates and root them on when some of his teammates aren't even trying? How can I tell my kid that he lost the game even though they played their hardest, when other kids DIDN'T try their hardest? How is it fair to my child to practice and practice and practice and excel in the game and continue to lose because other kid's parents think that it's no big deal? Bottom line. It isn't fair. It's one thing for your kid to be terrible at the game because they are just terrible at the game. If they try their absolute hardest and at the end of the day still suck, that's totally fine with me. But I have every right to be annoyed when my son, rosy cheeked and sweating his ass off in his batting helmet has worked his tail end off to run the bases outside in 100 degree weather and your child knowing better (as this isn't his first rodeo in the game) hits the ball and not runs but WALKS to first base and gets easily tagged out. Then you say, "Oh, it's okay, you tried your hardest." No. Your child did NOT try his hardest. Your child didn't try at all. And dammit all, if that was my kid, he'd be getting his ass chewed for it.
It is okay to tell your kid that you are disappointed because they didn't try. They have to try. This isn't a world that our parents lived anymore. You don't get through high school and if you're lucky, college, and go out into the world to have your dream job. No, you have to work your ass off. Just my generation right now generally has to work for at least a Bachelor's degree to get anywhere. By the time our kid's are grown up and out in the world, we can probably expect for it to be a Master's level of education to get anywhere. And here we are, sugar-coating the ever living shit out of everything. And you know what really "busts my buffers?" That I am called the hard ass for feeling this way. I'M somehow the bad guy for this. No, the bad guy in this scenario is the parent who fails to prepare their kid for life outside of their little home bubble. College professors and managers aren't going to look at them and say, "Oh, well, you tried your hardest... so here's an A." They are going to say, "If that's your best, than you need to be withdrawn/fired." At the very least, if you want the world to be glittery and unicorn fart-y than you need to keep your kid out of competitive sports. Because right now, yeah, sure, they are six and seven year olds. But later, they will be ten and eleven year olds and the coaches and parents will chew them up and spit them out and your kid will be traumatized because you told them that anything less than their absolute best was enough.
Quit telling your kids that it's okay not to try. Quit telling them that they are allowed to be lazy little bastards when it directly affects the kids whose parents make them work hard. Because basically, what you are telling my kid and everyone else's kid who is actually trying that that work is for NOTHING. It's not for nothing. It's for a trophy or a 4.0 GPA or for valedictorian or for a scholarship or an amazing job. It is NOT nothing. And if you want to be nothing... be nothing on your own time.
/end rant
No comments:
Post a Comment